How to Take Selfies for Dating Apps That Don't Look Like Selfies

The Selfie Stigma (and Why It's Wrong)

Selfies on dating apps are often criticized, but the reality is: most people's best photos are self-taken. The key is making them look natural, not narcissistic. Professional-looking selfies outperform amateur photos taken by friends.

The Golden Rules of Dating Selfies

• Maximum 2 selfies out of 6-9 total photos
• Never bathroom mirror - always looks low-effort
• Use back camera - higher quality than front
• Natural light only - indoor lighting is unflattering
• Consider your background - clean, interesting, not messy

Equipment and Setup

What You Need

• Your smartphone (back camera, not selfie camera)
• Tripod or phone stand ($15-30) or improvise with books
• Timer function (10 seconds gives you time to pose)
• Good lighting source (window or outdoors)
• Optional: Bluetooth remote for easier shooting

Camera Settings

• Use portrait mode if available (blurs background)
• Enable grid lines for rule of thirds
• HDR on for balanced lighting
• Burst mode for multiple options (hold shutter button)
• Never use front-facing camera - lower resolution, distortion

Lighting: The Make-or-Break Factor

Best Lighting Sources

• Window light: Face toward large window, 2-3 feet away
• Golden hour outdoors: 1 hour after sunrise or before sunset
• Overcast day: Natural diffusion, very flattering
• Shade outdoors: Bright day but you're in shade

Lighting Mistakes to Avoid

• Overhead lights: Create harsh shadows under eyes
• Direct sunlight: Too harsh, creates unflattering shadows
• Fluorescent lights: Unflattering color, makes you look tired
• Backlighting: Light behind you makes face dark
• Mixed lighting: Different color temperatures look weird

Angles That Flatter Everyone

Camera Height

• Eye level: Most natural and honest
• Slightly above eye level: Elongates neck, defines jawline
• Never below eye level: Universally unflattering

Face Angles

• 3/4 turn: Turn body 30-45 degrees, face looks toward camera
• Slight head tilt: 5-10 degrees, more dynamic than straight-on
• Turtle neck: Extend forehead slightly forward to define jaw
• Eyes to camera: Creates connection and engagement

Distance Matters

• Arm's length is too close: Distorts facial features
• 6-8 feet away: Ideal distance using timer and tripod
• Use zoom if needed: But maintain distance

The Technical How-To

Step-by-Step Process

1. Find your light source: Position yourself 2-3 feet from window
2. Set up camera: Tripod/stand 6-8 feet away, eye level or slightly above
3. Frame yourself: Head and shoulders, or head to waist
4. Enable timer: 10 seconds gives you time to relax
5. Strike pose: Relax shoulders, natural expression
6. Take 20-30 shots: Variety gives options
7. Review and repeat: Adjust angles, expressions, positioning

Making Selfies Look Natural

The Secret: Activity and Context

Don't just pose and smile. Add context:

• Hold coffee cup: Look down at it, then to camera
• Adjust your hair: Capture mid-motion
• Look away then back: Creates genuine expression
• Do something: Read book, cook, work on hobby
• Use interesting background: Plants, art, books, clean aesthetic

Expressions That Work

• Genuine smile: Think of something funny, don't force it
• Slight smirk: Confident and approachable
• Relaxed neutral: Can work if naturally confident-looking
• Mid-laugh: Captured naturally, not posed

Background Strategy

Good Backgrounds

• Clean, organized bedroom or living room
• Plants or greenery (indoor or outdoor)
• Interesting architecture or textures
• Outdoor settings (parks, streets, nature)
• Neutral walls with good lighting

Backgrounds to Avoid

• Messy rooms with clutter visible
• Bathroom mirrors (screams low-effort)
• Gym mirror selfies (narcissistic unless exceptional physique)
• Car selfies (boring, limited lighting)
• Bed selfies (suggestive, low-effort)

Editing Your Selfies

Subtle Improvements (Good)

• Brightness/contrast: +5-15% makes photo pop
• Sharpen slightly: Adds clarity
• Crop thoughtfully: Remove distracting edges
• Color correction: Adjust for natural skin tone
• AI enhancement: Tools like AURA optimize while keeping natural

Over-Editing (Bad)

• Heavy filters that change your appearance
• Smoothing skin to look fake
• Whitening teeth to unnaturally bright
• Enlarging eyes or slimming face
• Anything that makes you unrecognizable IRL

Platform-Specific Selfie Tips

Tinder

• 1 good selfie acceptable as photo 2 or 3
• Must be high quality and natural-looking
• Pair with other photo types for balance

Bumble

• Video selfie as first impression works well
• Show personality through expression/setting
• Maximum 1 static selfie in profile

Hinge

• Selfies less common, prefer candids
• If using selfie, pair with prompt that explains context
• Make it look unintentional if possible

Common Selfie Mistakes

• Duck face/kissy face: Immediately signals narcissism
• Gym mirror with phone: Overdone and narcissistic
• Bathroom mirror: Low-effort and unoriginal
• Car selfies: Boring background, poor lighting
• Shirtless bathroom: Unless you're a fitness model, don't
• Heavy filters: Instagram face doesn't translate to IRL
• Snapchat filters: Immature and hides your real appearance

Advanced Selfie Techniques

The Reflection Method

Take selfie of you reflected in a window (outdoor scenery behind). Looks artistic and intentional.

The Action Shot

Set camera to record video doing an activity, then screenshot the best frame. Looks candid, not posed.

The Series Method

Take 50-100 shots in burst mode making small adjustments. Choose best 2-3. Quantity yields quality.

The Mirror Hack (If You Must)

If using mirror:

• Clean mirror first
• Hide phone behind object in photo
• Use interesting mirror (vintage, framed)
• Angle to show interesting space behind you
• Never bathroom, always bedroom/entryway

Testing Your Selfies

Before adding to profile:

• Show 3-5 trusted friends: Get honest feedback
• Look at on different devices: Phone vs. computer
• Check in various lighting: Make sure it holds up
• Wait 24 hours: Fresh eyes see flaws
• Compare to other photos: Quality and style consistent?

Conclusion: Selfies Can Be Your Best Photos

The stigma against selfies is about bad selfies, not all selfies. With proper lighting, angles, equipment, and technique, your self-taken photos can outperform anything a friend shoots with their phone. The key is making them look natural, not narcissistic.

Remember the rules:

• Maximum 2 per profile
• Natural lighting always
• Back camera, not front
• 6-8 feet distance with timer
• Clean, interesting backgrounds
• Subtle editing only

If you want to take your selfies to the next level, AURA's AI can enhance lighting, sharpen details, and improve background while keeping you looking authentically like yourself.