HER App Events: Meet LGBTQ+ Women IRL in Safe Spaces

Why HER Events Are Different From Traditional Dating Meetups

HER app isn't just a dating platform - it's a complete LGBTQ+ community ecosystem. One of its most powerful features is the events system, which brings queer women, non-binary, and trans individuals together in real-life settings. Unlike traditional dating app meetups that feel forced or awkward, HER events are community-focused gatherings designed to create authentic connections in safe, welcoming environments.

These events range from casual coffee meetups and book clubs to Pride celebrations, art exhibitions, and outdoor adventures. The key difference is that HER events prioritize community building over immediate romantic connections, which paradoxically often leads to more meaningful relationships.

Types of HER Events You Can Attend

Social Mixers and Meetups

These are the most common HER events, typically held in queer-friendly cafes, bars, or community spaces. They're low-pressure gatherings where 10-50 people come together to chat, make friends, and potentially meet romantic interests. Social mixers are perfect for newcomers because there's no expectation - just show up, be yourself, and engage with the community.

Activity-Based Events

HER organizes events around shared interests: hiking groups, painting workshops, yoga classes, volleyball games, or cooking sessions. These activity-based meetups are ideal for people who feel awkward at traditional social events because the activity provides a natural conversation starter and takes pressure off constant face-to-face interaction.

Pride and Celebration Events

During Pride month and throughout the year, HER hosts larger celebration events including Pride parties, drag shows, and community festivals. These events can attract hundreds of attendees and offer opportunities to celebrate queer identity while meeting people from across your city.

Educational Workshops and Panels

Many HER events focus on education and empowerment: career networking sessions, LGBTQ+ history talks, health and wellness workshops, or discussions about queer representation in media. These events attract thoughtful, engaged community members and can lead to deep connections beyond surface-level attraction.

Virtual and Hybrid Events

For those not in major cities or who prefer starting online, HER offers virtual events including game nights, movie watch parties, book discussions, and video chat mixers. These lower-barrier events let you dip your toes into the community from the comfort of home.

How to Find HER Events in Your Area

Using the Events Tab

Open the HER app and navigate to the Events tab (usually the third icon on the bottom navigation). Here you'll see upcoming events filtered by your location. You can browse by date, event type, or distance from you. The events page shows who's attending, event details, and allows you to RSVP directly.

Setting Your Event Preferences

In your HER profile settings, you can set preferences for event notifications. Choose which types of events you want to be notified about, how far you're willing to travel, and whether you want alerts for new events as they're posted. This ensures you never miss events that match your interests.

Following Event Organizers

Some HER community members are frequent event organizers. When you find someone who hosts events you enjoy, follow them to get notifications when they plan new gatherings. Building relationships with organizers can also lead to being invited to smaller, more intimate events.

Checking Multiple Cities

If you travel frequently or live between cities, check events in nearby metros. Many HER users attend events in neighboring cities, especially for larger Pride celebrations or special gatherings. This expands your potential community significantly.

Preparing for Your First HER Event

Understanding Event Culture

HER events prioritize inclusivity, safety, and respect. Most events have explicit community guidelines posted in the event description. Read these carefully before attending. Common expectations include respecting pronouns, no aggressive flirting or harassment, being mindful of personal space, and understanding that not everyone is there to date.

What to Wear

HER event culture tends toward authentic self-expression over conformity. Wear what makes you feel confident and comfortable. Whether that's casual jeans and a t-shirt, a sundress, alternative fashion, or athletic wear, you'll see the full spectrum at events. Many attendees wear subtle queer signifiers - pride pins, rainbow accessories, or lesbian flag colors - which can help break the ice.

Going Solo vs. Bringing Friends

Both options work well at HER events. Going solo might feel intimidating, but it often leads to more connections because you're forced to step outside your comfort zone. Bringing one friend can provide security without creating a closed-off duo that's hard to approach. Avoid bringing large groups, which can make others feel excluded.

Mental Preparation

Your first LGBTQ+ community event can bring up complex feelings, especially if you're newly out or still exploring your identity. It's normal to feel nervous, excited, or even a bit emotional. Remember that almost everyone at these events has felt the same way at some point. The community tends to be incredibly welcoming to newcomers.

Making the Most of HER Events

Arrive Early

Getting to events 10-15 minutes early gives you time to settle in before crowds arrive. You can chat with organizers, scope out the space, and often connect with other early arrivers who tend to be friendly, engaged community members. Early arrival also helps you avoid the awkwardness of walking into a room full of established conversations.

Introduce Yourself Authentically

Skip the standard dating app small talk. At HER events, people appreciate authentic introductions. Instead of just stating your name and what you do, try: "I'm Alex, this is my first HER event and I'm a little nervous but excited," or "I'm Sam, I just moved to the city and hoping to build community." Vulnerability creates connection.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Move beyond "What do you do?" Try questions like: "What brought you to this event?" "How long have you been part of the HER community?" "What's your favorite thing about living in [city]?" or "Have you been to other HER events?" These questions open up richer conversations.

Exchange Contact Information

If you connect with someone, exchange Instagram handles, phone numbers, or HER profiles before the event ends. Don't wait - in the moment people are enthusiastic, but if you wait until later, the connection may fade. A simple "I'd love to stay in touch, can we exchange Instagrams?" works perfectly.

Follow Up After Events

Within 24-48 hours after an event, message people you connected with. Reference specific conversations: "Hey, it was great talking about that book series at yesterday's event! Have you finished the latest one yet?" This shows you were genuinely interested and helps solidify the connection.

Safety Considerations for HER Events

Verified Events vs. User-Created Events

HER features both official HER-organized events and user-created gatherings. Official events have been vetted by HER staff and typically have safety protocols in place. User-created events can be wonderful but require more personal discretion. Check the organizer's profile, read reviews from past events, and trust your instincts.

Meet in Public Spaces

Especially for first-time events or smaller gatherings, ensure the location is a public, well-populated space. Be cautious about events in private residences unless they're well-established community gatherings with many attendees.

Share Your Plans

Tell a friend or family member where you're going, when you expect to return, and share the event details from the HER app. Check in with them before and after the event. This basic safety protocol is important for any meetup with people you haven't met before.

Trust Your Comfort Level

If an event feels off or someone makes you uncomfortable, it's completely okay to leave. The queer community generally respects boundaries, but if you encounter harassment or unsafe behavior, report it through the HER app and to event organizers immediately.

Building Community Beyond Individual Events

Becoming a Regular

Attending recurring events - like monthly game nights or weekly coffee meetups - helps you build deeper connections. You'll start recognizing familiar faces, inside jokes will develop, and you'll transition from "new person" to "community member." Consistency is key to building lasting friendships.

Volunteering and Contributing

Many HER events need volunteers for setup, greeting attendees, or helping with activities. Volunteering is a fantastic way to meet organizers, feel more invested in the community, and naturally connect with other helpers. It also gives you a defined role if you feel awkward at social events.

Creating Your Own Events

Once you're comfortable with the platform, consider hosting your own HER event. It can be simple - a picnic in the park, a museum visit, or a coffee chat. Organizing events positions you as a community builder and attracts like-minded people who share your interests.

Success Stories: How HER Events Lead to Connections

While HER events aren't explicitly dating-focused, many users report that their best romantic connections came from events rather than traditional swiping. The reasons are clear: you've already met in person, you share community values, you've seen each other in social contexts, and there's no pressure of a formal date.

Beyond romance, HER events have helped thousands build friend groups, find roommates, discover career opportunities, and create chosen family. The community aspect often proves more valuable long-term than any individual romantic connection.

Events for Different Relationship Goals

For Dating

If you're primarily looking for romantic connections, choose social mixer events, speed-friending nights, or activity-based events where conversation flows naturally. Pride parties and larger celebrations can work, but they're often too chaotic for meaningful one-on-one conversations.

For Friendship

Activity-based events excel at building friendships because shared experiences create bonds. Book clubs, hiking groups, or hobby-focused gatherings attract people looking for sustained connection rather than quick encounters.

For Community and Belonging

Educational events, Pride celebrations, and volunteer opportunities are perfect for feeling part of something larger. These events help you understand your place in the LGBTQ+ community and connect with its history and future.

Regional Differences in HER Events

Major Cities

Cities like New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, London, and Berlin have multiple HER events weekly. You can afford to be selective, choosing events that precisely match your interests and schedule.

Mid-Size Cities

In cities like Portland, Austin, or Manchester, HER events might happen 2-4 times per month. These events tend to attract the same core community, which can create tighter-knit groups but less diversity in attendance.

Smaller Cities and Towns

If HER events are rare in your area, consider organizing your own or connecting with nearby cities. Virtual HER events also bridge the gap, letting you build community even without local in-person options.

Conclusion: Your Action Plan for HER Events

To make the most of HER events and build meaningful LGBTQ+ community connections:

1. Download HER and set your event notification preferences today
2. Browse upcoming events in your area and RSVP to at least one that interests you
3. Prepare by reading event guidelines and choosing an outfit that makes you feel confident
4. Attend with an open mind - not every event will be perfect, but each one teaches you something
5. Follow up with people you connect with within 48 hours
6. Commit to attending at least 3-4 events before deciding if the community is right for you
7. Consider hosting your own event once you're comfortable

Remember: HER events are about community first, dating second. Approach them with authenticity, respect, and openness, and you'll find your people - whether that's friends, partners, or chosen family.